Birth Works embodies the philosophy of developing a woman's self confidence,
trust and faith in her ability to give birth. It is our goal to promote safe and
loving birth experiences through education, introspection and confident
action.
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...for the mind
Have We Lost the Ability to Birth?
The Cesarean birth rate is skyrocketing; labor inductions are on the rise; epidurals have become almost synonymous with childbirth. Many expectant mothers do not know anyone who has had a truly natural birth.
Intervention has become so widely accepted that many women view this as normal birth. Birth is portrayed as a dangerous and traumatic experience. Pregnant mothers watch episode after episode of "baby shows" on television where birth after birth include medication, surgery or both. If a woman even mentions considering an unmedicated birth, her acquaintances assure her that once the contractions start, she will be begging for an epidural like "everyone else." Is it no wonder that women today don’t trust in their bodies to birth without intervention? How did we get here?
The early part of the 20th century saw childbirth move from the home to the hospital, complete with anesthesia, instruments, masks and gowns - quite surgical in appearance. Then came the regional anesthetic - spinals and epidurals. Women could be present and alert at their baby’s birth, without experiencing any of the physical sensations. Now we are faced with being allowed to "choose" to have their babies cut out, told that everyone but their baby knows best when it is time for the baby to be born.
In order to reclaim their ability to birth, women need to be told that they can! They need to surround themselves with positive stories and images about birth. They need to choose a birth attendant who believes that mothers, babies and nature know best. They need to consider whether they would best be served in a hospital setting, or to move birth back into the home, the family, the community. And society in general needs to shed the idea that pregnancy and birth are medical conditions requiring treatment but rather that these are normal, healthy parts of a woman’s life cycle. Only when we accomplish this can we truly heal.
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...for the body
Pregnancy After a Loss
Being pregnant after the loss of a baby can be a time of very mixed emotions for a woman. Although there may be the usual excitement of pregnancy, there is also fear of something going wrong in this pregnancy, a reluctance to become attached to this baby and guilt for feeling joy about this coming baby when a previous child has been lost. She may be surrounded by family and friends who make comments that are insensitive. Her anxiety level may be raised by doctors who label her "high risk" because of her previous loss.
Sometimes this anxiety about a previous pregnancy loss will cause a pregnant woman to chose an interventive birth, out of fear and not out of any indication that this particular pregnancy necessitates this medical intervention.
If this pregnancy and baby don’t come with a condition that makes a cesarean medically necessary, it will not guarantee the safety of the baby or benefit the baby. It may be tempting for these mothers to have every prenatal test possible to reassure her of a healthy baby, but these tests are simply screenings. They may diagnose a condition, but they are not treatments and often come with risks of their own, without changing the outcome.
As childbirth educators and doulas, it is important for us to acknowledge the feelings of loss and grief, while encouraging the mother to make choices for this birth and this baby on an individual basis. We can help them to release some of the fears that they have about this new pregnancy while still preserving the memories of the baby that they have lost.
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... for the spirit
Recovering From An Imperfect Birth Experience
When a woman’s birth does not go as she had hoped, she may be overwhelmed with feelings of grief. This is a loss that is often minimized in society. "But you have a healthy baby," these mothers are told. "You should be thankful."
These mothers are thankful for their healthy babies, but they know that there was an aspect to their birth experience that they have lost. And the guilt that they may feel over not achieving the birth of their dreams may be amplified by feelings of guilt over not feeling that their healthy baby is "enough."
As in labor, when a woman talks about her pain and isn’t necessarily looking for someone to make it all go away, the mother who has had to forfeit the birth that she wanted in order to get the birth that she needed, may simply need to have her feelings acknowledged rather than brushed aside. We live in a society where people are not comfortable hearing about the pain of others, and will come up with a quick, off-the-cuff remark (such as You should be thankful for your healthy baby), trying to refocus this grieving mother when what she really needs is just to talk. To tell her story - both the story of the birth that she wanted, and that of the birth that she got. As with anyone else experiencing a loss, simply hearing, I’m sorry that this birth was a disappointing experience in some ways validates the mother’s feelings and experience.
There is no ritual, no ceremony, no goodbye for a birth that was planned for, dreamed about and eagerly anticipated, and resulted in a healthy baby (what would be considered a "good outcome" by most), but the birth was not that which the mother had been looking forward to. And the mother who feels hurt or victimized by her birth may view her baby as a reminder of a painful experience if she is not given the opportunity to grieve, and if she does not give herself permission to be thrilled with her baby but sad for her birth experience.
Some women may experience closure through similar measures to those of other losses. They may release balloons or butterflies to the sky. They may wish to write the story of the birth of their heart, and perhaps even burying it and planting a beautiful tree or shrub above it. But most importantly, they may want to speak freely from their hearts, and we should give the gift of listening from ours.
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Birth Works E News has been written to provide information on Birth Works® International programs and general information about pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. The information provided is not intended as a substitute for professional consultation with a childbirth educator, lactation consultant, doula, midwife, or physician.
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