Birth Works embodies the philosophy of developing a woman's self confidence,
trust and faith in her ability to give birth. It is our goal to promote safe and
loving birth experiences through education, introspection and confident
action.
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...for the mind
Unthinking Labor
One of the benefits of birth in the 21st century is that there are so many options available to birthing women. Women can choose to birth in a pool, with an epidural, employ a doula, use a stool or a squat bar and nearly unlimited other options. Women are encouraged to create a "plan" for their birth. They often come up with a step-by-step script of how their labor will unfold.
It is certainly valuable for expectant mothers to be educated on their options for childbirth, to form a general birth philosophy and find a caregiver who shares it. However, when a woman scripts her birth with a strict birth plan, and doesn’t consider that she might vary from it by choice or necessity, her labor may be spent re-thinking and re-planning, expending her energy on sticking with the plan rather than on going with the flow and doing what comes instinctively to her. Instinct cannot be planned. Feelings cannot be planned. The unfolding of labor and birth cannot be planned.
Rather than pre-planning a birth, determining which interventions you’ll decline and which you might accept without knowing what circumstances and challenges your birth may bring, your energy in labor may be used more positively if your birth preferences focus more on your environment, the people and things that you need to feel safe and joyful. When you focus on emotions rather than events, you will follow your heart and what you decide will always be what you need. When you are surrounded by love and the things that are meaningful to you, it is likely that you will feel comfortable enough to have the birth that you truly want, and the birth that you and your baby need.
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...for the body
Celebrating Pregnancy
One of the things which makes me saddest is when I hear a pregnant mother speaking in a negative tone about her pregnancy. "I’m as big as a house," I often hear women say. "I can’t wait to get my body back, for my body to belong to me again."
Unfortunately, many women feel disconnected from their bodies during pregnancy. They view pregnancy and birth as an unattractive, messy, uncomfortable ordeal that they must endure in order to have the baby that they have wanted so badly. What leads to these disconnected feelings?
Part of it may be the medicalization of pregnancy. With so many pregnancies involving fertility treatments, repeated ultrasounds and an excess of prenatal testing, mothers may feel that their caregiver has taken ownership of their pregnancy, of their body. They often have five minute appointments with their doctors, where the first thing that happens is they are weighed and scolded for their weight gain.
Because so much is expected of women today, they often view their pregnant body’s need to slow down as an inconvenience, something that is keeping them from the things that they normally do in their life. And sometimes this leads to frustration, to anger, to feeling disgusted by their pregnancy. What would happen if women viewed their pregnancy as their top priority, and saw the other things in their life as things they do in addition to pregnancy, rather than the other way around? If they truly viewed the special and amazing thing happening in their body as their primary function?
Because we live in a very uptight society, where pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding are often kept hidden, covered up, images of pregnancy tend to be traumatic and scary rather than loving and confident. Expectant mothers need more opportunities to tune into their birthing body, to see images and artwork that depict pregnancy in a positive way, to be encouraged to embrace the changes within their bodies.
What could be more beautiful than a pregnant woman, blossoming with the life inside of her? This is a time to celebrate the work that she is doing - growing a human being!
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... for the spirit
Connecting Birth Though The Generations
Women often see pregnancy as a means of nurturing a closer connection with their own mother. Motherhood is a common bond that they can share as women. Expectant mothers and grandmothers alike embrace the opportunity to foster a new and special connection through pregnancy, birth and mothering.
This new bond, however, is not always formed as smoothly as the mother and her mother might like or expect. Childbirth, after all, has changed in so many ways, as have parenting philosophies and practices over the past few decades.
The necessity of childbirth classes was born from the anesthesizing of childbirth. In previous generations, or in less developed societies, an expectant woman learned about childbirth from her mother, her aunts, older women in the community who had given birth before them. Then came the 20th century and twilight sleep. Many expectant mothers this generation who ask their mothers what to expect of birth will discover that their mothers were unconscious during birth, or numbed by a strong spinal throughout delivery. These women have no recollection of the sensations of labor, and cannot share this information with their daughters. A vital connection was broken.
Many of today’s grandmothers, enthusiastic to embrace the role that their mothers and grandmothers played, find that their expertise is out of date. Rather than teaching their daughter how to care for her baby, the daughter must instruct her mother on proper sleep positioning, the handling of expressed breast milk, car seat safety and attachment parenting. This may cause them to feel out of place, unneeded.
As childbirth educators and doulas, we should do everything possible to foster this inter-generational bond and help to educate today’s grandmothers about pregnancy, birth and parenting. If the grandmother was medicated during her own births, to the point of being unconscious, she may be unprepared for the sights and sounds of natural birth.
We can welcome grandmothers in childbirth and parenting classes, allow couples taking our classes to borrow our birth videos to watch with their mothers, compose a recommended reading list for the grandmother-to-be, or plan a special grandparenting class where they can learn about current infant health and safety practices. This is especially important if the grandmother is going to be attending the birth or assisting the new parents afterward. One message that we want grandparents to come away with is that the new mother needs to spend her time connecting with her newborn, and that someone who comes in with the agenda of taking over the baby’s care may not be welcome. As doulas, we are experts at mothering the new mother and can remind grandmothers that the baby will be mothered by its own mother, but what a great gift it will be to their daughter during this crucial time of self-discovery to be mothered by her own mother.
The most important message that we can give to our expectant grandmothers is that the new parents need to be loved and supported, not criticized or judged. When a new mother feels loved and supported, she feels connected to all mothers, including her own.
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Birth Works E News has been written to provide information on Birth Works® International programs and general information about pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. The information provided is not intended as a substitute for professional consultation with a childbirth educator, lactation consultant, doula, midwife, or physician.
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