Birth Works Feature Articles

...for the mind

How Smart is Your Baby?

At a baby shower recently, I watched as an expectant mother received a basket full of baby videos. Guests excitedly exclaimed over how much smarter her baby would be for watching these videos, and how much more she would be able to get done while her baby was being entertained by the television.

The guests were stunned when I mentioned that I had never owned one of these videos marketed as "educational", that my daughter was nearly two years old before we began allowing her to watch children’s television programs.

"What did you do to entertain her?" they asked. "How did you get anything done?"

How? I supplied her with age-appropriate toys and safe places to explore. I wore her in a hip carrier. I let her play with the pots while I cooked and "fold" the socks at laundry time. I played children’s music, sang and danced which made her laugh. As soon as she was able, she sang and danced too!

"But the videos are educational!" they exclaimed. "They teach colors and shapes, letters and numbers." They were stunned that there was no research demonstrating that these videos increased a baby’s IQ or made children read sooner. They were not aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend television viewing for children under two. Despite this lack of "educational" videos, my daughter still spoke in sentences at a year and a half, recognized the letters of the alphabet by age two and read at four.

An important aspect of working with new mothers is to show them how to play with their baby, stressing how babies learn from watching and taking part in everyday activities, and to emphasize the importance of their baby receiving feedback from a human being, not being placed in front of a non-responsive television or computer screen, for they will not only learn their letters and numbers from their parents, they will also learn love, something which no video can provide. 

...for the body

New Breastfeeding Growth Charts

... for the spirit

Celebrating Motherhood

Pregnancy is a wonderful time of anticipation. With pregnancy massage, baby showers and belly casts, expectant mothers feel loved and cared for. Yet when baby arrives, the focus is often shifted from the new mother to the baby, leaving her feeling isolated and abandoned. Is there any wonder why so many mothers suffer from postpartum depression?

As Childbirth Educators and Doulas, we can educate families in ways that can make a vital difference in making new mothers feel celebrated.

Many family members and friends plan a baby shower during pregnancy, bringing baby-focused gifts such as car seats and diaper pails. Suggest a post-birth Mommy Shower, where new mothers can be showered with pampering gifts for herself. Guests can be asked to tell a heartwarming story of their own early motherhood and a recipe for a one-dish dinner (or bring a prepared dinner).

Often, the new mother will receive elaborate flower arrangements in the early days after the birth. Remind fathers of how much it would mean to a new mother to receive flowers every week or two in those first couple of months, when she may be feeling overwhelmed and sleep deprived, not yet rewarded with her baby’s smiles and giggles.

New mothers may also find that during the first couple of weeks after their baby’s birth, their family members and friends descend upon them to see the new baby and offer help. Then her husband goes back to work, the visitors stop coming and the new mother is alone, unsure of how to manage getting out of the house, not knowing any other new mothers in her community. When she sees or speaks with family members or friends, they ask first how the baby is, what new milestones the baby is achieving. When we visit with new mothers or work with them postpartum, our focus should first be on Mom - how is she doing today? How is she feeling about herself and her baby? What would she like to get done today and what help does she need to accomplish that, whether it’s getting herself and her baby out for a walk, or spending an hour of quiet time to herself.

Most importantly, a mother should feel that she can celebrate herself, for simply being a mom each day, even if the dishes don’t get done, even if the baby cries, even if dinnertime comes and she can’t remember anything she’s done each day. Motherhood isn’t about doing. It is about being. And that is a proud accomplishment in and of itself.